Some things never change as we get older. Take dating, for instance. Whether it was asking your crush to the homecoming dance in high school or inviting a new neighbor to dinner as an older adult, igniting that romantic spark is intimidating, no matter your age. It can also feel later in life like dating is a young person’s game and you’re past the point of starting a new relationship.

The truth is romance doesn’t have an age limit. Just ask these four couples who met as seniors—Henry and Joyce, Mary and Dick, Mary and Tom, and Jodi and Myrna—who found joy, love and a new beginning with their partners. There’s no better time than the present to tell that special someone in your life how much they mean to you, and maybe start a new romantic adventure of your own. That’s why we asked our featured senior couples for their best senior dating advice. Here you’ll find their four top senior dating tips to remember that can help you take that first step and build a loving bond that endures.

Senior Dating Tip #1: Join in activities

Few things are as key to forming a romantic connection as being in the right place, at the right time. Take it from Henry, 86, and Joyce, 85, residents of The Forum at the Woodlands, who met on the bus on the way to go walking at the mall. The pair struck up a conversation that quickly evolved into sitting together at Woodlands concerts, dancing together every Friday and eventually moving in together. The most important thing, they said, was putting themselves out there and participating in the many activities available to them.

“It’s much easier than dating as a young person because we had activities that brought us together; we didn’t have to create something,” says Joyce. “The best thing to do is to get involved, go to the socials and be open to meeting other people.”

Senior Dating Tip #2: Open your heart to something new

A sad truth of dating as an older adult is that many single seniors may be widows who have lost a wife/husband dear to them. When Mary Lee, 90, met Tom, 90, after he moved into Calusa Harbour, she was interested in him romantically but could see that he was still mourning his wife whom he’d recently lost. She knew the feeling all too well after losing three husbands of her own. Yet, once the two shared a hamburger, started attending church together and shared a first kiss—“I was walking on clouds and bumping into everything after,” says Tom—they realized that they could care for each other in their grief while also starting a beautiful new life together.

“Most everyone has lost someone,” says Mary Lee. “You can’t try to replace somebody; you just look for someone you fall in love with. You’ll find somebody but not necessarily like someone you had.”

Senior Dating Tip #3: Maintain independence

Both Mary, 85, and Dick, 80, weren’t exactly looking for a mate when they moved into The Forum at Brookside. Mary just wanted a companion to join her on morning walks. Their first walk together was on Dick’s birthday after he became a Brookside resident, and “we’ve been together ever since,” says Mary. Now, the pair are practically inseparable and when not together people often ask where the other is. Yet there’s one thing they don’t budge on: separate apartments. That’s because, both agree, one of the secrets to healthy senior relationship is letting the other have their own space and independence.

“It’s nice that we have our own villa so we can spend some time away to take care of personal tasks,” says Dick. “I’m the king of my castle and she’s the queen of her castle!”

Senior Dating Tip #4: Take a risk and enjoy every moment

Jodi and Myrna, both 77-year-old residents of The Forum at Town Center, have shared experiences in their 25 years together many of us simply dream of. They’ve been hiking in New Zealand, taken a Niagara Falls boat tour and even lived in an RV traveling across the U.S. for 14 years. That’s because ever since Jodi, a former minister, took a chance to ask Myrna, a new congregant at her church, out to dinner, the pair have shared the same philosophy of making every moment together an adventure. Both also have an understanding that at their age, you don’t grow together to start a family, leaving more time to concentrate on each other. The first step into the unknown of senior dating is the hardest part, they say, but the “wonderful road ahead” awaits for those who take the risk.
“As seniors, we don’t know how much time we have left,” says Jodi. “Don’t waste it being unhappy not having someone in your life. We all need human companionship. If there is someone in your life you think would make a great companion, go for it!”

Finding community and companionship at Five Star

There’s certainly no shortage of stories of new couples and friends that met in a Five Star Senior Living community. Every day at one of our communities across the U.S. brings more opportunities for connection from fun and diverse activities to a stress-free, independent lifestyle that allows more time for the things—and people—that matter most. Take it from Henry and Joyce: “Life isn’t over after 90, you can live and love.” Contact one of our senior living experts or find a Five Star community near you to learn more and start your next chapter of life—and possibly love—with us.

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Here’s some sage advice from six inspiring older adults who know a thing or two about struggle. Each has been through rough patches of life, only to emerge as strong on the other side. We hope these words of wisdom offer encouragement and hope for a bright, joyous new year.

William Stewart: From private eye to a shoulder to lean on

William (Bill) Stewart’s life started out rockier than most. Adopted at birth and raised by his grandparents during the Great Depression, he went on to have six children with his wife before she passed at the age of 51. His career spanned many areas of law enforcement and criminal justice from service as an NYPD detective to becoming a licensed private investigator. He also served his country for 30 years through the U.S. Air Force and Military Police, retiring at the rank of Lt. Colonel. He has adjusted to life in a senior living community by doing emotional art, reaching out to help others, and supporting other seniors who may be going through a difficult time.

Stewart has learned to lean on his deep, personal faith during times of trouble. “This, too, shall pass,” is an expression he refers to whenever he experiences difficulty. He also encourages younger Americans to look outward when things become overwhelming.

“Talk with others going through difficult times,” he says. “There is strength and comfort in being in a group, knowing that we are not alone.”

Paula Anderson: Lifelong educator and encourager

Teachers hold a special responsibility in our communities, and many of them never give up their mission of equipping others. This is the case for Paula Anderson, a retired educator with 45 years of dedication behind her. As the Project Director of the Upward Bound program at Queens College, CUNY, she encountered daily challenges in helping students grow and thrive. She never lost her hope for a better future for her students.

“Reflecting on the past challenges I endured,” she shares, “I knew that everything would be alright as long as I continued to believe in God.”

Anderson’s faith was a beacon for her to stay positive during her decades as an instructor. The never-quit attitude is something she hopes to pass on to others, even in her retired life.

Anderson also believes that focusing on others is key to a life well-lived. “Through the storms in life, we must love and encourage one another,” she says. “Take time to show love and concern for the elderly, sick, disabled, little children and every other person in this world.”

Shirley Abramson: Light to the little ones

Another retired educator, Shirley Abramson, spent much of her career in a nursery school setting with the responsibility of caring for and teaching the youngest of pupils. She understands that the amount of information today can overwhelm us, and she encourages us to use discernment with any information we receive. “Depend on your intelligence. Read, listen and take advice. Use your intelligence to get you through,” she stresses.

In addition to being mindful about the information we consume, she wants young people to keep a perspective about what they have and look forward. “We cannot dwell on what has happened in the past, but they must think about the present and the future,” she advises. “The past is important, but the future is worth hanging on to.”

She also recommends today’s Americans take ownership of their situation during times of trouble. “You are the captain of your own ship,” she says. “Make the best out of situations and always know that nobody will do it except for you.”

Additional advice for troubling times

We also heard from several other seniors, who shared the perspective that history repeats itself, and things get better over time. Some of the more impressive quotes include advice around helping others to keep your mind off of the bad in the world:

Barth Partch: “Give to the poor, work in soup kitchens and reach out to your elderly neighbors that might need your help.”

Margaret Jordan: “To make yourself feel good, do something for someone else — volunteer. Some of the fuzziest good feelings are when you give of yourself, and no one knows. Research shows that when we help others, our brains release the feel-good hormone throughout our bodies…. Don’t worry — be happy!”

Nick Degestaro: “Try to do a good deed. People are very appreciative if they know that you are listening.”

There is power in positive thinking and change in helping others. By looking to older adults as a guide, we can find inspiration to continue on, even during the most challenging moments.

The Five Star Difference: Making 2022 Happy, Healthy and Stress-Free

See if there’s a Five Star Senior Living community near you and schedule a tour to learn more about how Five Star is ensuring communities stay happy and healthy in 2022 and beyond!

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